GOD IS IN CONTROL

Today has been a good, slow day. John Carter has had a fever, so he stayed home with me today. We had so much fun together just laying around and watching movies and reading. He is such a sweetheart! I LOVE that he still loves to snuggle with me :D So, Lindsey came home school and is working on homework and I'm reading books to John Carter and he's reading to me.
I suddenly get a phone call. I look to see who it is because I don't want to interrupt my time with my baby. It is Sheri. Ok...knowing that she NEVER calls, but always texts me when she's in the hospital with Tyler, and even when she's home, I wonder what is going on. (Sheri is my friend that I've been talking about with a son, Tyler, 8 yr.s old, with stage 4 cancer)
I answer and she says, "I've got an emergency" ok. Right now, my mind goes straight to thinking, how am I gonna get to Pensacola with a sick kid. What does she need me to do? That's about as far as I got in my milli-second thoughts before she tells me what's wrong. "Tyler got a 24 hr. dose of chemo over 1 hr. The nurse gave it to him wrong." Ok...did I hear that? ok. I'm just listening. Not panicking yet. Knowing how sick he just was in New York, knowing that this is his 6th! chemo round and he's so tired, knowing how toxic chemo is anyway and what it does to his little body....I just sit there. I honestly don't even remember what I said to her. She said the Dr.'s were coming and she gave me the name of the drug. I wrote it down. She wants to know if I know a nuclear medicine pharmacist. I tell I know a pharmacist, but I don't know about chemo. She's like, "No. It has to be a nuclear pharmacist." I don't have anything to help her. She is waiting on the Dr.'s at Sloan Kettering (cancer hospital in New York that is over Tyler's care) to call back. I let her go and tell her to call me back when she know's something.
I hang up the phone and do something very strange...I finish reading to my son. I guess I was in a little bit of shock. Then I think, I need to look this up for her on the internet. I know she has a laptop and is doing the same thing, but somehow I think I can help.
I go online and start finding out about this drug. The 1st thing that hits me is how incredibly toxic it is. You have to be very careful, etc. and I start to panic. I start to get tears in my eyes and then I go back to working on it. Then I see the Brand name of the drug and I recognize it as one that Aubrey, Rich's sister, took when she had her chemo for breast cancer. I remember how scared she was to take it. I call her.....She is at her son's football game and there is an announcer in the background really loud, but I have to ask her anyway. Tell me about this drug. and I explain what happened. She says, "OH. My. Well, Beth, I think I got that drug over an hour, but at the time I weighed 100 lbs." Tyler weighs somewhere , I think, around 50. (Turns out, he only weighs 43lbs.!) John Carter is 54 or something!! This little boy just turned 8!
Anyway, after talking with her, I start to feel a little better. She tells me she will pray. I hang up and text Sheri about Aubrey and what she took. Then I tell her that for certain reasons, like Tyler has a Central line and not a regular IV, that it will probably be ok. She's thinking increase fluids and give meds to flush his system. I tell her ok, but wait for New York to call.

Then....I remind her of something that I had forgotten. GOD IS IN CONTROL. Not Dr.'s and Nurses. It may be that this is a good thing. You never know. Then, I had a peace.

I talked to Sheri later, after I had called our church and Briarwood to pray, and told her that for all we know, he needed this "one-two" punch as the Dr.s called it. She laughed and we were able to acknowledge together how good it is that God IS in control!

Life is so not in my ability to control. That can be frightening at times if we forget the simple, yet profound, truth, that we don't have to be in control. It's a good thing we aren't!! God has everything in His hands so we can rest in that. Even if the outcome is hard, we can be at peace with knowing we are in His plan.
Thank you, Jesus, that You love us enough not to leave us to ourselves. I love you.